


I Am With You Always

by Ladyhawk_lhflu



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 17:36:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3419579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladyhawk_lhflu/pseuds/Ladyhawk_lhflu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Han and Luke travel back to Tatooine together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am With You Always

**Author's Note:**

> Ancient fic here. I'd say I wrote this around 2000 or so. It has a bit too much sap for my current tastes, but if it entertains anyone, it was worth posting.  
> The oddball object is taken from the Jedi Apprentice books.

The kid's got me fooling myself.

I look at Leia as we take off from Endor and wonder why I thought I was in love with her. I love Leia, but am I in love with her? I mean, really in love with her? Not if the fantasies I've been having lately have anything to say about it. Hell, if what they've been showing me is truly how I feel, I fell in love with her sibling and couldn't even admit it to myself.

What am I going to do now?

"Han?" I look up at Leia's face and realize I have been staring at her for a couple minutes. Get it together, Solo. 

"Sorry, just thinking about where we go from here." I smile at her weakly, not knowing what else to say.

"Into the political fray. There are negotiations, treaties, the Senate has to be organized. . ." Leia looks exhausted just saying this. I don't envy her her position in the Alliance one bit.

I can't go back there, not to the political arena. I'm not made of that kind of stuff. But how do I tell that to Leia? That I'm breaking off our relationship before it's begun?

I know I can't lie to her. I can't pretend to start a relationship that I know doesn't have a mynock's chance in hell of surviving. But how. . .

My thoughts are interrupted by Luke's voice behind me. "Leia, after we pick up my X-wing on the lead ship, I'm probably going to head back to Tatooine for awhile. I want to look through Ben's old place again. I want to see if I can find anymore information about the Jedi."

Here's the opening I need. I take a deep breath. "Do you want a tow, kid? I need to head that way to make sure Jabba was the only one after my head. The Falcon's a lot more comfortable than that tiny cockpit of yours."

Now why did I say that?! I want to get away from Leia before I hurt her. But why did I have to go and invite myself along for a ride with my other problem? Namely, Luke.

"Sure, Han. Thanks." He looks at me with a puzzled expression, but doesn't say anything more. 

Leia, on the other hand, looks like she was expecting this turn of events. "Be careful, both of you."

"We will." I watch as Leia moves with Luke out of the Falcon's cockpit and into the living area. They have been discussing something privately since Luke got back from the Death Star. Probably something about their family. I don't question them about it. Something tells me I don't want to know.

\---------------------------------------------------

When we get back to the headquarters ship, Luke runs off with his astromech to get his X-wing. Chewie and Lando, both of whom were sleeping on the flight up here, go to continue celebrating with Rogue Squadron. 

And somehow, I'm standing under the Falcon, next to a Princess with a very knowing look on her face.

"We went a bit too far, you and I, didn't we?" She gazes up at me, with no accusations, no pain. Just acceptance. 

I nod. "I'm sorry, Leia. I never meant to lead you on."

"We led each other. I'm just as responsible as you, Han. It's time to let it go."

"Yeah." In that instance, I see her in a whole new light. She is no longer the demanding but brave young girl we rescued from the first Death Star. In her place is this quiet, dignified leader. Who happens to be a great friend of mine. "I still do love you."

She smiles. "I know. Take good care of my brother, Han. And of yourself." The glint in her eyes startles me. It's almost as if she knows. But she can't possibly. . .

She starts to walk away, then turns back to me. "I think Luke deserves some happiness, don't you?"

All I can do is stand there in shock as I watch her head toward the exit to the hanger.

\---------------------------------------------------

Although I feel more myself now that I cleared things up with Leia, and ended up with her implied approval to move my attention to the other twin, I still have no idea what I should do with Luke.

I watch his X-wing approach the Falcon from my seat at the controls. R2 squawks from behind me as Luke misses the tractor beam by a hair before settling his ship comfortably into its grasp. 

At his signal, I move the beam and his ship so it is in line with the Falcon's bottom emergency hatch. I open the hatch, then wait until it closes again to put the Falcon on autopilot and go back to greet my guest.

"Thanks for the ride, Han." Luke smiles at me after he pulls off his helmet. It takes all my strength not to reach out toward the handsome face revealed.

But somehow, I am able to hide my reaction to his presence. Or at least, not set off too many of his Jedi alarms. A questioning glance from him shows me he knew something happened in the past few seconds, but he doesn't question me about it.

"Come on, Luke, you must be starving." I steer him into the food prep area.

"Yeah. Ewoks have no idea how to cook for a human." He sinks wearily into a chair. The strain of the past couple days weighs heavily on his body as he watches me make us a meal.

"How did you find out that Leia is your sister?" I try to lighten the mood as I sit down and begin eating. Big mistake.

"My teacher on Dagobah told me. Soon after he told me about our father. . ." Luke's head collapsed into his hands and I hear him sob. "I couldn't save his life. After the struggle he went through to save my life, I couldn't save his."

I'm mystified at his display, considering he never mentioned a father before. So I try to figure out what's going on here. "Was he on the Death Star? Was he on it when it exploded?"

Luke shakes his head and his voice comes out in a rush. "He died just before it exploded. His, his life support suit was too badly damaged for him to live. I brought his body to Endor for a proper funeral pyre. As befits a Jedi."

Life support suit? Jedi?? My thoughts turn black at the connections in my mind. No it isn't possible. . .but still I ask. "Luke, who was your father?"

His eyes meet mine as he sighs. The weight of the universe seems to sit on his shoulders. He says two words, then gets up and walks away toward the front of the ship.

Those two words echo in my brain a thousand times as I watch him leave. Darth Vader. The man who I've fallen in love with is the son of my most hated ememy. And I thought Luke being a Jedi was outrageous. I lean back heavily in my chair, wondering what to do now.

__________________________________________________

After struggling with my thoughts for an hour in the living areas of the Falcon and not really finding a way to calm my mind, I move to the cockpit and find Luke in the pilot's seat.

"Hey, kid." I sit down next to him.

He doesn't bother with a greeting, but gets straight to the point. "So, can we still be friends, now that you know I'm the son of the most hated man in the universe?"

Shock courses through me at his implication that I could hate him. "Of course! It's not like you could choose who your father is. Mine wasn't one to be proud of either. But are you all right, knowing who your father was?" I don't like how he looks right now. He's too pale, too somber. I've never seen Luke crack, so I have no idea of his breaking point. But some instinct inside me says he's not far from it.

But at my question, he seems to cheer up slightly. "Yeah. I can, because he wasn't all evil. At the last moment, he saved my life. He threw the Emperor down a shaft before he could kill me. I wanted to bring him back to Endor and give him a chance to start over. But the Force energy the Emperor was using against me short circuited Father's life-support suit."

I never thought I'd be thanking Darth Vader for anything. But I want to thank him now for saving his son's life. Instead I take Luke's hand in mine and try to give him some of my strength.

Luke smiles slightly at me. "I'm fine, Han, really. I was just afraid you. . ."

"After all you've done? You deserve my undying devotion!" And you already have it, my friend. 

He must see my thoughts in my eyes because he squeezes my hand. "You were there for me too, Han. Thank you."

We spent the next few days in companionable silences and small conversations. And I do my best to give him small touches and smiles of support. He may feel affection for the man who saved his life, but I figure it is still quite an adjustment to accept that your father was also the man you called enemy. 

I know that Luke will accept his father, in his own way. But will he accept me after I tell him my secret? Am I good enough for a Jedi, for the noble man that Luke has become?

__________________________________________________

We land on Tatooine without incident. Mos Eisley hasn't changed much with the news of the Empire's demise. It is still a dusty and unforgiving place. But life, both legitimate and illegal, goes on as always here. 

We split up once we land. I head toward the cantina to talk to a number of my former contacts and clear up any debts. Luke rents a landspeeder and goes to the old man's place to see what he can find.

I squint into darkness as I head into the underground room of the Mos Eisley cantina. The bartender is the same one I threw coins at when I left here five years ago. He recognizes me too, if that glare on his face is any indication. Oh well. I smile at him and walk toward the back, wanting to finish my business as quickly as possible and get out of here.

In the back, I find Jabba's nemesis, Gardulla the Hutt, holding court with a few of his minions. He's smaller and a less slimy than Jabba was, but not by much. 

Gardulla turns at the sound of my footsteps. "Solo! Welcome back." Gardulla rarely bothers with a translator. He finds droids exceedingly annoying.

"Thanks, Gardulla. Did you miss me?" I look around at the assembled beings and notice something. They all have weapons aimed at me, and most of them look deadly. 

Uhoh, I have a bad feeling about this.

"Oh, yes, Solo. We missed you. You owe us something for killing my dear cousin Jabba." One of his group, a young human, shoots me in the gut with a stun bolt. The universe goes black.

__________________________________________________

I blink my eyes a few times to adjust them to the bright light beaming down on me. I can feel that my arms and legs are restrained when I try to move. When my eyesight clears, I gasp as the point of a long needle greets my eyes. The wicked looking thing is level with my forehead.

A chuckle echoes in the silence of the room. I turn my head to see the young man who stunned me, now grinning fiendishly. "Gardulla wants to extract payment from you for Jabba's death. He's lost business because of it. People here fear that the Jedi are coming back. They are already starting to leave. You know how good the Jedi are for business around here."

Yeah, terrible. Before the Wars, before the Empire, the Jedi would come here periodically to try to stop some of the more life-threatening practices of the Hutts, such as slavery. This, of course, ruined the Hutts' business, making them angry. And they sought retribution by torturing every other lifeform on Tatooine. 

The dirty man continues. "So Gardulla's going to take your life. Slowly, of course." He gestures toward the needle. "That's jhabar, a slow acting poison. It's injected directly into your brain. I hear you can experience some pretty frightening hallucinations before the poison finally kills you."

I shiver at the thought of that stuff in me. Luke must be on the other side of the planet by now. I guess I'm on my own here, and it looks pretty grim.

The droid arm to which the needle is attached moves closer to my forehead as the table grows a restraint for my head. I struggle, but I can't even budge my head a millimeter once the band fastens itself around my forehead. I close my eyes, preparing for the worst.

But I never feel the prick of the needle. I open my eyes to see the ominous point above my eyes. By it's position, I judge it to be about a centimeter from my skin. I spare a thought to wonder if the droid broke down. Gardulla doesn't treat his machinery very well because he dislikes it so much.

But then I hear a *very* familiar voice, and I know exactly what stopped it.

"Let my friend go, Gardulla, or you will regret it." I feel a twinge at having gotten myself into another situation from which Luke has to rescue me. But I remind myself that I'd rather be alive to be able to pay him back then dead from this poison. And I imagine some ways I could pay. . .some very pleasurable ways.

But then Gardulla's booming voice interrupts my thoughts. "Who are you?"

I can imagine Luke straightening to his full height and that regal look coming into his blue eyes as he replies. "I am Luke Skywalker. Jedi Knight and representative of the Alliance."

"Skywalker? Are you related to Anakin Skywalker?"

"He is my father."

Surprisingly enough, Gardulla laughs mightily at this statement. "Your father was my *slave*, young human. I ordered him around and could control him easily. You don't scare me."

"He must have been young at the time, then. I knew my father as a powerful man. He didn't take orders from anyone except his leader. You will find that I can be that powerful as well. Release General Solo or face the consequences."

"He needs to pay the price for Jabba's death. Maybe you will help him pay, Skywalker!" I hear laserfire and a second later, the hum of Luke's lightsaber. I can tell that Luke is still in top form because I hear the reverberations of the bolts hitting the walls of the stone fortress. Screams and gasps reach my ears and I desperately hope none of them are Luke. He is good at fighting, but right now, he is also using the Force to hold this needle still in front of me. If he loses his concentration even for a second---

I blink as tears begin to obscure my visions, tears produced out of fear for my friend's life. But as I open my eyes, I see Luke standing in front of me, smiling slightly.

"Gardulla reconsidered his price for Jabba's death. We are free to go." He reaches out and pulls the needle out of the droid arm, then looks for the controls of the restraining table.

"What happened?" I hate the feeling of my trembling limbs. They can barely hold me up as the restraints are released and I walk away from the table. Luke grabs my arm as I stumble slightly. I grimace, but he locks his arm around my waist. I don't have the strength to complain.

"I defeated his men, then told him the price the Alliance would demand for our deaths."

"Oh?" Curiousity gets the better of me.

"I told him we are heroes of the Alliance, and we are worth more than he has ever made. And that they always get the full price, one way or another."

A nervous chuckle rises in me as we walk past Gardulla, who is doing his best to look disdainful, but ends up looking extremely frightened. Luke doesn't even spare him a glance as we walk out the door to the waiting landspeeder.

He helps me into the transport even as I protest that I can get in myself. But I am grateful for the help as weariness overtakes me and I lean back in the seat.

__________________________________________________

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I feel is Luke shaking my shoulder. "Han, we're here."

I open my eyes to see a small hut half buried in a wall of sand. Then I turn my head to see Luke's concerned blue gaze. This time I have enough strength to wave off his help and not make a fool of myself as I get out of the speeder.

Once inside the sparsely furnished home, Luke points me toward a door to one side of the main room. "Why don't you try to get some more sleep. I'm going to make us some food."

Something about his stance sets off warning signals in my mind. He's too tense, as if my presence bothers him in some way. I bother him? Right. He's probably still tense from fighting Gardulla's minions, or I'm imagining things. 

So I go into the bedroom and close the door. The old man put a wide and very comfortable looking bed in this small hut. I wonder why. 

As I walk toward it, I nearly trip over something on the floor. Picking it up, I find that it's a small holoprojector. Out of curosity, I turn it on.

The image on the small base is of a tall man with greying long hair and a smaller man with very short copper hair. Both are dressed in the tunics that were most often associated with the Jedi in the Republic and they are looking at each other and holding hands. They look like lovers. As I notice that the younger man has some resemblance to Kenobi, the sound kicks on, projecting the voice of the man I knew as Luke's teacher to my ear. 'Trust your feelings, Luke.'

Puzzled at why the old man would possibly want Luke to see this projection, I set it down on a shelf, next to a small black rock. Weariness starts to weigh on me again, so I lay on the bed. It's just as comfortable as I thought. But before I can drift off, the door opens a crack.

"Are you ok, Han? I thought I heard something."

"Yeah. I just tripped over the holo that was on the floor."

The door opens a bit wider and Luke gazes at me, a bit chagrined. "Sorry, I must have dropped it there." He sighs as he looks at me. "Can we talk?"

"Sure." I sit up, concerned at his tone.

He walks into the room and sits on the far end of the bed. "I've been thinking about you a lot lately."

I look at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I know you love Leia. I don't ever want to get bewtween the two of you. . ."

Force! I've heard these words in my dreams. Could he feel the same about me as I do about him? I didn't think. . .But I have no idea how to tell him about my feelings. So I turn my gaze to the shelf where I placed the projector and change the subject. "Who is the man in the holo with Kenobi?"

"His master and lover, Qui-Gon Jinn. Ben left a message to me about him and their relationship in the projector. To encourage me to talk to you about the feelings I have for you."

"I heard part of it." I turn back toward Luke, gathering my courage. "He knew about your feelings for me back then? You've had them that long?"

"I was attracted to you since the moment I met you. But he couldn't have known before we left here. We hadn't even met you yet. Unless he saw it in the Force."

I shake my head. "I will never understand your abilities." Then a thought crosses my mind. "By the way, how did you know I was in trouble? And where to find me?"

Luke points to the rock next to the projector. "I was looking around in here and I just picked that up to look at it. The second I touched it, the Force flowed through me and I began to see. . .erotic images of you and me together. But after about a minute, the images changed. I could see the needle in front of your face, and Gardulla laughing. I ran out of here at lightspeed because I thought I was going to lose you."

"I thought so too." I smile at him. This was meant to be. Even Luke's Force says so. This thought gives me courage as I take a deep breath and try to get the words past my tightening throat. "You're not alone, Luke."

"What?" Luke's eyes lock with mine. I have his full attention now. 

My throat opens up as my words sink in and Luke's face softens. I continue. "I love you, Luke. Force, even Leia could see it. She basically told me to make you happy."

At this, Luke grins. "Well, she is my sister." 

I reach out my hand and grasp his. It's time to work this out, I think. "So you want to join me for a nap?"

Luke uses my grasp to pull me toward him. Our lips meet softly, then more demandingly. I pull back reluctantly after a few minutes of tongue battling and exploration. I use the time I need to catch my breath as an excuse to examine his face. Desire is written all over it, in the half-lidded gaze, in the slightly pouting lips. This is for me?

I don't think I said the words aloud, but I must, because Luke answers me as he pushes me back onto the bed. "Of course it's for you. I love you."

I can't vocalize my thoughts that I'm inadequate for such a powerful man because he's kissing me again. But as he moves to unfasten my shirt and pull it off, I again hear him answer me as if I spoke. This time though, his voice is in my head. 

//Han, I love you. I want you in my life, by my side. You are a compassionate and determined man. And a damn good pilot. Why wouldn't I want you?// A wave of love sweep through me. I can somehow tell this feeling comes from Luke. It surrounds me and brings tears to my eyes as I gaze up at him.

"What's happening to us?" I'm not a Jedi. Things like this only happen through the Force, or so I thought.

//We are creating a soulbond between us. In the message on the holo, Ben told me that it happened pretty often between two Jedi who were truly in love with each other. He said it also occassionally happened sometimes between a Jedi and his lover even if the lover wasn't Force sensitive.//

Wow. My eyes widen as I feel his feelings and mine entwine in my mind. //I will always be with you now, Han. Even if I'm far away, you'll be able to hear and feel me like this. Even if I die--//

I cut him off. "Don't say it. I want you. Here, alive." Lust sweeps over me as I pull on his tunic and try to reach his skin.

Luke's hands run down my arms soothingly, then reach to pull his tunic up his chest and off. I touch his skin wonderingly. A shiver and a moan from him has my hand wandering slowly south. Then I feel his hands reciprocate on my skin. I gasp as fire shoots through me. "Luke!"

He answers the demand I barely know I'm making with a kiss. A passionate, soul searching kiss. My body arches into him as I want more of him touching me, loving me, inside me. An image of this flits through my mind. I know Luke sees it too because he gasps and sends an echo back to me. //Yes!//

Our connection has quadrupled the passion between us, so we work quickly to remove the rest of our clothes. Without comment, I settle on my stomach and look back at my lover.

He smiles gently as he shakes his head and guides me onto my back. "I want to see your face, Han. I want to see your passion. I want you to be able to see how much I love you."

I can feel that love in every touch of Luke's hands as he caresses me legs and hips, then moves to kiss my straining erection. I gasp and arch up because at the same time, a finger enters me. The instant I feel the finger, I tense up, anticipating pain. But I don't feel any.

//The Force has many uses, my love.// He grins at me, and I smile back, then moan, as a second finger joins the first. He strokes inside me for a few minutes, stretching me, as his free hand caresses my aching cock.

But I have no patience, and he knows it. Soon, his erections butts at the entrance to my body, and slowly, so slowly, enters me. Once his cock fills me fully, he leans over me and our gazes lock. As I absorb those twin blue laser bolts into me, only one word comes to my mind.

"Love."

He hears every nuance I want to try to convey with that one syllable and greets them with his own feelings, contained in images floating through my mind. Luke holding me as I sleep, loving me, us flying together, laughing together, growing old together. The mental connection arouses me as much as the physical sensations bombarding my body as Luke begins to move within me. I fight to keep from coming too soon. I want this to last, to wait until Luke's ready too, but Luke has other ideas.

//Let go, Han. Let go.// I can't resist the pull of that voice in my mind. I let go of my control and shudder as pleasure overtakes me. Shouting my ecstacy, my body arches and thrashes against the bed. Amazingly, my release sparks Luke's. His seed spills into me as he groans his completion and collapses against me.

We lay like that, catching our breath for a few minutes. Then Luke shifts off me and pulls me so we are wrapped up in each other in the middle of the big bed.

I start to drift off in the comfort of my lover's arms, when a question nags at my mind. "Luke?"

//Hmm?// I feel him caressing my mind as he focuses his attention on me.

"Why did Kenobi put this big bed in here? He was the only one living here, right?"

Luke laughs. //Yes. Master Jinn died when Ben was around my age. But Ben said on the message that he put the bed in here because his lover held him every night, even after he had been dead for thirty years or more.//

I open my eyes as I absorb this information to see Luke's eyes filled with love. //And I will always be with you, Han.//

And I believe him.


End file.
